Friday, February 27, 2009 1:01 AM
ahh, its been a long time since i blogged.
BLOCK TEST is finally over and im having a short break from school on thursday and friday. although im suppose to feel really glad and everything, i somehow feel really sian. things haven been going in the way that i’ve wished recently. im really sick of everything as i am once again frustrated over the SAME OL MATTER AGAIN =.= i guess that others opinion about me really does matter and i dun want it to be one of my weakest point to make me feel real bad and everything. i want to learn to let go of how impt is it that the others see me. screw it man, ME AND MY STUPID FEELINGS
i realised that somehow everything of me is fake, the way i treat ppl arn me, putting on a mask like nth has happened even though i could have hate the person deep down. somehow, the life that i am leading now seem virtual and imaginary. i dun feel the commitment i have in relationships with those close to me right now. its so different to whatever that i’ve gone thru in sec 4. Perhaps its just true that somehow, this 2 years is really too short to find true commitments. i dun wan to think like this but thinking abt the experience i have with the people now, it just make me missed more abt the simpler life i have in secondary school. LIFE’S TOO COMPLICATED as we grow up.
oh wells, heck the wdv matter that has been bothering me. i’ve spent my day reading fanfics, mouse hunting and downloading audition again. =.= quite a boring life i have in this PRECIOUS break. could have been playing pool today with ny geog clique. however, due to unforseen circumstances, the gathering has been put off till saturday, which i think by then i will be REALLY sick to go out. (YESH, THATS THE PROB WITH ME TOWARDS MY FRENS NOW) audition was fun today and i finally realised how to play beat up. its getting addictive, so i think i will have to watch out and probably uninstall it again for the sake of my stupid acad in the NEAR future. =.=
i am suppose to go for some stupid health camp tmr but we have agreed to pon it. i was really pissed with my mum when she called me to tell me that the school had reminded her abt it. somehow it just makes the whole situation more difficult. well, being my mother, she somehow managed to make me angry with her stupid comments and the threats. she damn irritating. WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING BY CALLING THE CHER TO TELL THEM THAT I AM NOT GOING TO GO FOR HEALTH CAMP. (literally meaning that she just going to tell them that i’ve ponned when i intend to tell them that i have a stomachache.) i was screaming over the phone and telling her how much i’ll hate her and how she will die if she really tells the cher. DAMN IRRITATED THAT IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME SAY THAT I HATE HER AND WISHED THAT SHE WOULD DIE RIGHT INTO HER FACE.
plans for the weekend! (before i go back to hell)
1. meeting with ny clique on sat for pool ( which i highly suspect that i might pang sei them? )
2. meeting with chia and jia and yanni for piercing ear holes and kbox/bball?! (cfm going)
YESH, THERE WE GO, HOW BIAS I CAN ACTUALLY GET IN TREATING SN PPL COMPARED TO NY CLIQUE. no choice they are much closer to me than family, more than anyone else in this world.
I CAN DIE WITHOUT SN CLIQUE, BUT SURVIVE WITHOUT NY CLIQUE.
